How Video Games Almost Destroyed My Relationship

It’s common for marriage to experience its ups and downs for quite a while. As long as both of you are responsible enough to handle the situation, then there’s going to be no problem if ever. However, I have experienced a marital difficulty that somehow lasted for a couple of months now. That’s all because of me and my husband’s gaming addiction.


I love playing video games as much as my husband does. The fact that it gives us something in common made us closer to each other. We shared the same hobbies and spent time doing the same activity. At first, it was a great way of bonding, but after a couple of weeks and months, it then caused a lot of issues in our married life.

They point to the fact that when using smartphones, or playing online games, or using social media, many people exhibit features that are very similar to those displayed by drug addicts. — Utpal Dholakia Ph.D.

The Addiction


I’m not totally against the idea of spending time in front of the computer and playing video games as I, myself am a gamer too. However, for the last couple of months, my husband I seemed addicted to playing all kinds of games. We honestly don’t talk. The more we spent time playing video games, the less we noticed each other inside the house. It felt like everything we do should relate to what we play on the computer. We became dependent on each other so we can’t seem to accomplish anything. Our married life went from average to unusual. We became trapped in a kind of situation that both of us couldn’t fix.

As days went by, we lost track of each other. We both forgot our anniversary and even missed to celebrate my husband’s birthday two months ago. We lost contact with each other though we only live in one roof. Though we communicate inside the game, it brings us back to isolation once we are done playing. Our house is so silent that we can actually hear each other breathing. We don’t consider sexual intercourse as part of our relationship anymore, and I can honestly say that it was okay with me back then. We don’t hang around with people anymore because we have become satisfied with chatting with them through social media. We set boundaries that only the two of us understand the way we live our lives.

If someone is restless when not able to play, is losing significant relationships or meaningful employment because of gaming, feels that gaming is causing more harm than benefit, and yet is unable to stop—then that person has a problem. — Peter Gray Ph.D.

The Realization


We got alarmed by our situation and started pulling ourselves off the habit of playing video games each day. Then tons of realization hit us. We usually don’t complain about the sleepless nights, but now we do. We seldom see something wrong about both of our behaviors, but now we noticed that we don’t know each other anymore. We didn’t try to stop ourselves from playing video games 24/7 because we thought we were enjoying it. But now it took over our lives, and it affected our emotional and psychological well-being. It made us both go crazy in some ways.

Looking back at those times when my husband and I spent too much time playing video games made me cringe because we wasted a lot of memories that we were supposed to enjoy. I’m not saying that the video game itself ruined my relationship, but it was all because of the factors inside of it that we allowed to control us. It’s still a great way of bonding though it requires moderation.

Video game addiction is a future that’s available to anyone no matter their race, socio-economic status, or age. That’s not to say that everyone who plays will become addicted, but without good role models to show what a healthy relationship to virtual environments looks like, it’s easy to slip so far into the digital rabbit hole that once you realize it’s too far, it’s too late. — Ryan G Van Cleave Ph.D.